Pandora Box

Coffee or tea?

A message in the beginning of 2024 brought back to life all the memories that I buried on purpose in the best memorial garden that I could visit whenever I wanted.

I have a question:

What if there were some things that you wished to have, and you begged for them, but when you realized those were out of your reach, you started accepting and continue living your life? But just right in time, when you start being grateful and happy with what you already have, the wishes come true.

But good things always come with a burden you must pay for; it has never been free.

You got bumped into decisions that you never thought you had, whether you keep in the status quo, continue enjoying your life, being grateful and happy as you should have been a long time ago, or accept all the dreamy things that might open a pandora’s box of unforeseen troubles and also some other hopes.

Maybe you are just scared of the idea of losing yourself again

or maybe not

-Nay

Twenty Three

2023 feels like it passed in just a blink of an eye but when I thought I was done with it, all the memories came like a huge snowball right to my face.

I thought I have mastered all the pain you could imagine of a young adult in the middle of 20 but this year I figured out the most idiotic version of myself when I thought it couldn’t be any worse. The time I realized the sorrow the misery was just the consequence of the things I did (it’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me). Thank god my consciousness came back before I got more “injuries”.

The other injury I had was the time when I got nerve injury and it got me 3 months using neck collar at work and some trips (kinda like it more than those fluffy neck pillows ‘cause it’s more firm, hundred percents helps while you sleeping in your flight).

Despite all the injuries, we may find things are hard to swallow when you make mistakes, don’t reach goals, get lost in comparison among you and others, and believe all the negative things. But I got some help, met few souls, let people drag me to new activities, continue sharing joys with people that will stick around during bad times and a family that always got my back.

Above anything else, I learned that no one is worth your tears and peace of mind. And I will continue exercising on how to not accept anything less.

2024, I beg for joy, please be my hero.

The Quarter Century.

Kalau bisa jadi anak kecil terus, aku mau jadi anak kecil selamanya.

The concept of turning 25 can be quite daunting for some people. However, there is a silver lining to look forward to: our frontal lobe has finally fully developed (can we get a yay?).  That means you'll be better in decision making, have a greater ability to weigh the consequences of actions, and hopefully put an end to all those dumb things you used to do and maybe help you avoid getting into situations that could leave a lasting scar.

In my childlike thinking, I've always imagined that when someone turns 25, the minute they open their eyes that day, bam! They're instantly enlightened, seeing everything crystal clear, shining bright like the sun. They're pumped with positivity, motivation, and a kickass attitude to tackle the day head-on. Hence, being 25 has become something I've waited for.

So, it's been like a whole day of me officially being 25, and I'm still the same old me, doing the same stuff, thinking in the same way as I did when I was 24. I'm chowing down on the same food I've always loved, and my reactions are pretty much unchanged from when I was younger. So, for all the people who eagerly wait to turn 25, don't get too hyped up because, honestly, nothing mind-blowing happened LOL.

And to all those who are feeling anxious about the scary thoughts surrounding turning 25, let me tell you, it's not as terrifying as it seems. It's all good, nothing to worry about. Just take it in stride and keep on rocking!

-Nay

p.s. I'm 25 y'all!