Thursday, May 23, 2013

Should I love you, May?




Halo.  Salam ya buat semua yang bulan Mei-nya lebih beruntung dari gue, yang bulan Mei-nya indah seindah tatapan matanya ketika dia menatapmu. Hiks.

YOU WOULD NEVER CAN GUESS HOW UNLUCKY AM I THIS MAY.
And how I try to endure life when things happen like emrghgrghhgfhagfgsd.
And how I feel that feeling when luck goes away leaving me here with misfortune beside of me.
And how I feel like Im the most unfortunate person in the world.
And how do I give up on everything.
Cause actually Im tired of wishing something I know that wouldn't happen.

Layaknya bulan Februari lalu, bulan Mei ini kayanya hampir lebih parah, mungkin.
Rasanya kayak dijedotin ke tembok sama ade rai, dibanjur air got 10 tangki, terus ditaro di antara dua pegulat sumo yang siap tanding, dan gitu aja ulang-ulang selama sebulan.

Awal-awal bulan Mei, gue mutusin headset gue, kesayangan gue dan gue berduka selama tiga hari. Gak bisa move on, belom cari pengganti.

Mulai pertengahan, sehari sebelum study tour gue tepar gara-gara sakit.  Lo tau sebabnya apa? Cuma gara-gara makan lontong, makan lontoooong!! Akhirnya gue maksain ikut dan malah makin parah terus masuk angin dan akhirnya jeder.
Abis study tour,  rencana-rencana yang gue bikin gagal semua, gagal total. Sedih, coy, sedih banget.  Belom pernah rencana gue gagal sampe sesedih ini.  Mungkin gue udah kebanyakan ngayal yang engga engga atau gimana, yang jelas gak sesuai harapan dan ini nyesek, really.
Gue juga gak boleh makan yang aneh-aneh gara-gara gue sakit itu-_-
Udah tau gue milih-milih makanan, ditambah gak boleh, kalo gue makin kurus jadi kaya tengkorak idup gitu gimana? Siapa yang mau tanggung jawab? Okede.

Gue juga ada kejadian salah naek angkot kemaren. Jadi gue naek angkot rombongan ibu-ibu mau pengajian gitu dah-_- gue kan gatau, tiba tiba angkotnya belok gitu, sebenernya sih dia mau balik lagi nanti katanya, tapi awkward banget gak sih lo sendirian gitu di angkot dan sisanya ibu-ibu pengajian, akhirnya gue turun terus jalan sambil nyari angkot laen. Apes. Mana gue udah telat ke sekolah lagi. Harusnya jam setengah 8 nyampe sekolah tapi gue? Setengah 9 huehehehehe.
Terus hari itu juga gue keujanan. Pas banget baru aja naek ojeg, baru jalan dikit tiba-tiba ujan deres banget. Kampret. Sengaja banget itu ujan. Salah apa sih gue sama looo?

Terus abis UN gue lebih banyak di rumah, frekuensi kena omelan emak meningkat drastis. Mendingan ke sekolah, sih, tapi di sekolah bingung mau ngapain-_-
Dan masih banyak kesialan gue yang gak bisa gue tulis di sini, kasian lo yang pada baca-_-

Btw bulan ini juga gue lagi sering-seringnya ngeblog, lagi seneng-senengnya bikin mata lo berair gara-gara baca tulisan gue yang absurdnya bisa bikin Pretty Asmara kurus.

And Im sure for larry lasagna or whatever bulan ini adalah bulan penyesalan yang paling bikin nyesel seumur hidup gue.  Sumpah gue belom pernah senyesel ini dan oke gue nyerah kalo waktu itu gue bilang gak akan nyesel. GUE NYESEL COY, KAMPRET-_-


Everything I wish could happen amblas sampe inti bumi. Nothing happens, gak ada, none, null, nil, zero, yes.  Trying to not thinking about it and moving forward but even people know for sure I cant. GAAAHHH.
And no one can depict my feeling even me not.
Gue sih cuma berharap bulan Juni gak separah ini, ngarepnya. Dan gue selamat dalam keadaan utuh sampe bulan ini selesai.
Terus gue bakal nyanyi lagu Dokter Cinta gitu ya, lipsync, gue post di youtube, diejekin satu dunia, bomat.
Oke gue selesai.

1 comment:

  1. Is this the real you, the actual you..or you just pouring out the anger ? I wish that this is just a case where a girl is trying to find comfort by pouring out every little anger from her feeling.

    Well as a 15 years old (or so..) you have a good english, and "ways for saying" things. But when it comes to "mental awareness" you're unstable, but you're not to blame for these matters. What can I say .. you're 15. And maybe growing up in more "comfortable environment" that makes you exercise less of your strength.

    Don't mean to be obsurd, just like to be a realistic kind. You metioned Steven Spielberg, that is a big name that stands for a big man. A fighter that won his battles, a lot bigger battles than what you are fighting...and also bigger than mine. And he is my look up figure, I am his fan. And just to be real, UN or Ujian Negara is just a toy game to us, or tittled "educated fools" with their S1 degree or higher that we have in abundance.

    My S1 colleage earning Rp 12 million in a month, but a friend with senior high school degree earning 30 million or so in a month. How... imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge -Albert Einstein. But better if you have both imagination and knowledge..but if you don't then choose imagination.

    Find your strength..because if you think these things is huge that make you write what you wrote in your Glitter Box. You'll be surprize at what life will throw at you next. We're all have strength including you, and it is bigger than you realize. If my saying is too abstract for you.. I will have to tell you to step out of your "box". Everybody can complicate problems, but only genius can simplify it. It's your choice.

    We'll before I bore both of us (..or maybe I have already), just take care. By the way good English! I mean it.

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